I Can't Marry You Because You're Too Ugly

One of my favorite aspects of Senegalese culture is how much everyone jokes.  Joking is so important, if you can't do it people simply won't like you as much.  Senegalese joking is not like American joking- there are no puns or knock knock jokes.  It's more along the lines of "You like to steal all of my cashews" or "You can't fast because your belly is too big" or "I can't marry you because you're too ugly."

So to illustrate this I'm going to tell you about my neighbor Jabi.  He's about 45-50 years old, has 12 (literally) children, a wife and an ex-wife (so scandalous), and he really wants to marry me and go to America.  When other people ask me to marry them, I get angry or annoyed depending on how much I've eaten that day.  I'm sorry Mr. Stranger on the Street, no I'm not interested in becoming Mrs. Stranger on the Street.  When it's a friend or a family friend I'm a little less blunt, and usually just tell them they are way too ugly and I would never marry them.  If I'm feeling serious I'll tell them I'm too young for a husband, or I don't want one because right now I want to work, or if I get married without consulting my parents in America they will beat me.  I meant that one as a joke but no one really got it, and it has since retired.

Then there's Jabi, who lives one compound over and calls me Aissatou Jabi.   My new name is Aissatou Diallo (I-sa-too Ja-lo).  So he'll call "Aissatou Jabi!" over the fence, and I'll not really listen and yell "Yes?" back, and then he and everyone else will giggle because I don't know my own name.  So when he talks about getting married, I am very adamant and pull out all the insults.  He is too ugly, too poor and can't afford my bride price because I am VERY expensive, he's already got a wife, I will refuse to cook or clean and he would need to do all of the house work because I want to lay around all day, etc.  Personal attacks are super fun.  Sometimes he jokes that he's going to come steal me, and I tell him I'm stronger than him, and if I run away he won't be able to catch me because he's old and smokes.  I tell him my dad will beat him if he comes near me, but when he pretends to, everyone just sits around because they think it's so funny.  One time I threatened him with a stick and he had to run away.  That was fun.

But aside from defecting potential suitors, there are also joking relationships between family, and this is way more fun because there are so many more people.  As I just mentioned, I'm a Diallo, and we are hands down the best family in West Africa.  My family originally is from Guinea, as are most Diallos.  Our joking cousins are the Ba's and the Balde's, which are also numerous throughout Kolda.  Names in Senegal are already a huge deal.  If I'm out of village and I meet another Diallo they are considered my "musibbe" or family.  Diallos look out for Diallos, Balde's look out for Balde's, and Diallo's and Balde's love insulting each other.

One of the more motivated women in my village is named Hawa Baa.  I go to her compound a decent amount since she is my counterpart's aunt as well as president of the women's garden.  Most people call her Neene Hawa, since she is an older women with children ranging from 2-22.  Instead, I call her Neene Thief.  I am totally allowed to do that, and everyone thinks it's so funny.  She'll retaliate by asking me where my dad put all of the peanuts he stole, and during Ramadan she would always ask me what my dad ate that day (since he was fasting) and told me the reason I couldn't fast was because I am a Diallo.

These joking relationships are hands down my favorite thing about Senegal.  It's so easy to break the ice, especially if you find a joking cousin.  I can insult the man at the market trying to give me a tourist price because he's a Balde, and the guard at the Peace Corps house is super smelly because all Baas are smelly.  It's a great way to integrate and show people I'm not just some toubab coming here to tell you how to live your lives.  I want to learn Pulaar, and I want to be a part of your community, and I want to insult all the Baas and Baldes because, let's face it, they are just inferior to us Diallos.

XOXOXOXOX Merci,
Kim

Ramadan Mayyii!!!!!!!!

March 2013 has officially made it to IST!  This is a second training that focuses more on strategies to connect with our communities as well as more health technical information.  It's only day 3 and I already feel like I've learned so much and am so excited to go to village and start some projects.

The best news I have for everyone is that Ramadan is over! Thank God.  Ramadan is the Muslim holiday in which people fast from sunlight to sundown while still going about their daily lives.  This is very, very difficult, especially when your job is working in the field all day.  Everyone was completely exhausted for an entire month, as well as cranky and irritable.  I tried fasting one day to the utter joy of my community, only to realize I am very weak.  I made it all morning- I woke up at 4 am to eat breakfast, then didn't eat or drink until I broke around 4.  After lying in my room on my floor for hours staring at some mangoes and knowing I had granola bars in my trunk, I army crawled to my backyard and came to in a pile of mango peels and granola bar wrappers feeling extremely guilty.  That didn't stop me from drinking some water though.  I never told anyone about my moment of weakness, and everyone in my village was so happy I "fasted."  I told them I couldn't and it was hard, though, and that I couldn't do it again the next day.  When pressed I said I thought I was going to die and that I really loved life.  My aunt Oumou kept pressing the subject, and I told her she only wanted me to fast so that I would die and she could have my hut.  Everyone thought this was absolutely hilarious and the story is still told to this day.

So Ramadan was tough.  After my failure I refused to try again, but they appreciated that I even tried.  Children aren't supposed to fast, and neither are pregnant or breastfeeding women.  Most pregnant women that I saw didn't fast, but a lot of the breastfeeding women did, including my mother.  Pulaars tend to be a lot more religious and don't necessarily fully understand the consequences of unhealthy lifestyles. Some of the ideas behind fasting are so sensitive it's hard to combat.  For example, a woman in a neighboring village decided to fast because two of her older children had died, which she believed was because she didn't fast when she was pregnant with them.  You're also supposed to make up the days later, which is harder since you do it all by yourself.  I know my mom did fast when she was pregnant last year because she was making up some days in June and July.

After a month of this, there is Korite.  Korite is wonderful.  It's a huge party that everyone gets really excited for.  Everyone gets a new outfit and shoes and jewelry, and the women get their hair done.  They spend a lot of money not only on clothes but food as well.  the whole village chipped in to buy a cow! They cooked with oil and there were carrots and potatoes and peppers in the bowl.  It was wonderful.  Everyone had diarrhea for days.

Aside from eating patron food and drinking boissons (soda), it's also a great day to greet everyone.  I put on my beautiful complet, tikka and all, and went compound to compound greeting the families and congratulating everyone on finishing yet another Ramadan.  This was great because everyone was happy again and it was actually fun to talk to them.

So that was Ramadan!
-Kim