I Can't Marry You Because You're Too Ugly

One of my favorite aspects of Senegalese culture is how much everyone jokes.  Joking is so important, if you can't do it people simply won't like you as much.  Senegalese joking is not like American joking- there are no puns or knock knock jokes.  It's more along the lines of "You like to steal all of my cashews" or "You can't fast because your belly is too big" or "I can't marry you because you're too ugly."

So to illustrate this I'm going to tell you about my neighbor Jabi.  He's about 45-50 years old, has 12 (literally) children, a wife and an ex-wife (so scandalous), and he really wants to marry me and go to America.  When other people ask me to marry them, I get angry or annoyed depending on how much I've eaten that day.  I'm sorry Mr. Stranger on the Street, no I'm not interested in becoming Mrs. Stranger on the Street.  When it's a friend or a family friend I'm a little less blunt, and usually just tell them they are way too ugly and I would never marry them.  If I'm feeling serious I'll tell them I'm too young for a husband, or I don't want one because right now I want to work, or if I get married without consulting my parents in America they will beat me.  I meant that one as a joke but no one really got it, and it has since retired.

Then there's Jabi, who lives one compound over and calls me Aissatou Jabi.   My new name is Aissatou Diallo (I-sa-too Ja-lo).  So he'll call "Aissatou Jabi!" over the fence, and I'll not really listen and yell "Yes?" back, and then he and everyone else will giggle because I don't know my own name.  So when he talks about getting married, I am very adamant and pull out all the insults.  He is too ugly, too poor and can't afford my bride price because I am VERY expensive, he's already got a wife, I will refuse to cook or clean and he would need to do all of the house work because I want to lay around all day, etc.  Personal attacks are super fun.  Sometimes he jokes that he's going to come steal me, and I tell him I'm stronger than him, and if I run away he won't be able to catch me because he's old and smokes.  I tell him my dad will beat him if he comes near me, but when he pretends to, everyone just sits around because they think it's so funny.  One time I threatened him with a stick and he had to run away.  That was fun.

But aside from defecting potential suitors, there are also joking relationships between family, and this is way more fun because there are so many more people.  As I just mentioned, I'm a Diallo, and we are hands down the best family in West Africa.  My family originally is from Guinea, as are most Diallos.  Our joking cousins are the Ba's and the Balde's, which are also numerous throughout Kolda.  Names in Senegal are already a huge deal.  If I'm out of village and I meet another Diallo they are considered my "musibbe" or family.  Diallos look out for Diallos, Balde's look out for Balde's, and Diallo's and Balde's love insulting each other.

One of the more motivated women in my village is named Hawa Baa.  I go to her compound a decent amount since she is my counterpart's aunt as well as president of the women's garden.  Most people call her Neene Hawa, since she is an older women with children ranging from 2-22.  Instead, I call her Neene Thief.  I am totally allowed to do that, and everyone thinks it's so funny.  She'll retaliate by asking me where my dad put all of the peanuts he stole, and during Ramadan she would always ask me what my dad ate that day (since he was fasting) and told me the reason I couldn't fast was because I am a Diallo.

These joking relationships are hands down my favorite thing about Senegal.  It's so easy to break the ice, especially if you find a joking cousin.  I can insult the man at the market trying to give me a tourist price because he's a Balde, and the guard at the Peace Corps house is super smelly because all Baas are smelly.  It's a great way to integrate and show people I'm not just some toubab coming here to tell you how to live your lives.  I want to learn Pulaar, and I want to be a part of your community, and I want to insult all the Baas and Baldes because, let's face it, they are just inferior to us Diallos.

XOXOXOXOX Merci,
Kim