Wasting Time

As a new volunteer, one of the biggest challenges is learning how to not do anything. This doesn't sound like a problem, but think about it: how long can you not do anything? 2012 Kim loved a lazy weekend and relished a night of nothing as much as the rest, but I would go crazy during summer vacation when all there was to do was hang out around the house.

Senegal really relishes doing nothing. A lot. Lunch is sandwiched by hanging out in the morning and hanging out in the afternoon. Field work gets in the way of tea drinking. Women do laundry right next to the people hanging out so they don't miss the lively conversation.

Constant conversation might sound lovely, but even two years in I still get lost. My friends will be talking about lunch one second and then are off gossiping about their aunt's daughter's brother in law over in another village and I'm zoning out the next. And they know I'm not paying attention; I must have a slightly glazed look on my face, and they say "Oh Aissatou, you're dreaming of America again!"

Sometimes I am, and sometimes I'm silently freaking out that I could be doing something more worth while. Studying for the GRE, reading a book, writing, listening to a podcast, anything to increase my brainpower and get ahead.  I never knew not doing anything could be so stressful!

And then I read this Why is Everyone so Busy?  There are some interesting concept in there, like "time poor," "the harried leisure class." In Senegal, I am definitely viewed as a rich American, and in a way I am.  I get paid (however little) every month, and I have a safety net at home (thanks for the safety net Mom and Dad, I swear I'll grow up some day.  But I also have more stuff to do.  I have Peace Corps work (grants, meetings, reports), post- Peace Corps prep (resumes, job searches, networking, grad school), and cultural pressures (sitting, drinking tea, greeting). All of these conflict, and make me obviously more harried.

"I'm sorry Neene, I absolutely must get internet today, I have so much work, and if I don't do it, the entire fabric of the universal will unravel. You're welcome."

Statistically, I'm headed for a future where I work hard at a job all week, put in extra hours, and then do the majority of child care and house work (thank God for machines).  Does that sound fun to you? Not on paper.  I will have more schooling and less leisure time, and the leisure time that I'll have will be stressful because I'll have so many other ways that I could be using my time.

But do you want to know what? Those are just statistics, and that's not the way people have to be.  In Senegal, one of the things people know about (aside from Rihanna and that our president is black) is the phrase "time is money."  I never realized how we really take that to heart.  I see myself working constantly, always trying to get ahead, and it doesn't please me.

So one of the biggest lessons I'll be taking home from Peace Corps is just to enjoy the moments you have with the people you love. Have a really great conversation about politics.  Talk about your friends you haven't seen in a while.  Do it over drinks. Do it without the distraction of technology.  It's all about being present, and there's no way you can be in the moment with someone while you're trying to create a moment with someone else.  My host family always reminds me, "Aissatou, life without people isn't living. You have to be with other people in order to live life to the fullest."

I think they're right.  I'm looking forward to coming home, catching up with you all, and having some really great conversations about life. So I'll be home in May. I'll bring the tea and conversation starters, and you can leave your Iphones at home.